Sunday, June 10, 2012


My guess is that God had a mission for Paula, and the mission was us. Like an apprentice Guardian Angel she was imbued with a positively charged energy which she cast like lightning bolts when confronting tangles of doubt and cynicism. Paula engaged life with tenacious optimism and an eagerness, bordering on impatience, to get on with it.

Paula had many talents but her gift was as a story teller weaving together the fun and drama of her life with Bernard, Auntie Ann and Buddy amid piles of brightly colored yarns. At the same time, she never allowed multiple myeloma to lurk in the shadows. Rather, she exposed its painful complexities to the benefit of all who wonder, "What's next?"

Gathered in a volume it is the story of a beautiful, courageous woman who lived life rich with the flavor and color of a world, yet rarefied by her presence. For balance God placed Bernard next to Paula, the quiet rock against whom she leaned when the fatigue of long endured pain became heavy for one to bear.

We struggle to understand why God would take one who had been a consistent source of hope. A message, possibly, that we have been fortified enough. A signal that we are to share Paula's gifts with others who tire of life because of illness, the pain of cruelty or the emptiness of being alone.

I, for one, will miss knowing Paula through her illuminating skill with words and her ability to create lightness in the midst of  thick, weighty darkness. I will miss the sense of humor which flowed from the core of her being and endured through her final post.

I hold all that of Paula in my heart's memory. And I imagine at this moment, Guardian Angels scrambling on Heaven's missions to the frigid reaches of the universe, smiling in the new found warmth of Paula's heavy knit sweaters.

Peace and Blessings, Bernard, and my heart felt sorrow for the wonder you have lost.


  1. Thank you for introducing me to Paula and her blogs. As you expressed, Paula will be held in the "heart's memory" of so many. She seemed to grab each day by the tale, and hang on for dear, dear life. To restate a quote by Hunter S. Thompson, a favorite of yours, "“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”

  2. Paula had this way about her and it made me feel right at home, as if her blog posts were written just for me. I smile when I see how she made this same connection with almost everyone she met. Paula had a gift at keeping us all light hearted and laughing even when the realities of our lives might take us to a place of despair. I think she taught me a lesson with that. I look out the window now and see the sunlight sparkling a bit in the willow tree and if I close my eyes I can almost see her walking and playing with Buddy, shopping for yarn, going on Holiday with B and of course, knitting a new treasure to share with us. Thank you Stephen for reminding us of her gifts.